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My Purpose

As we get older we may find ourselves questioning our paths. I know that I have. I had so many things happen that required me to be in that moment. That required me to fight through. These things took a lot of energy.

When you suffer injury at a young age, it is a bitter pill to swallow. First you think about surviving. Surviving surgeries. Surviving the bills coming in while being unable to work. Surviving infections. Surviving pain. Surviving withdrawals from pain medications. Secondly, you think of all the things that are no longer available to you. Things that were a big part of who you were.

You have a lot of down time while recovering between surgeries to think about life. To worry. To feel all that weight on you. But you just fight through.

These things changed my path. I don’t know who I would be, had these things not happened. I do not allow myself to think like that. That is like wishing. This isn’t a fairytale. It is life. You make the best with the cards you are dealt.

I didn’t always think like this though. I felt like all of these things that happened, defined me. Perhaps they do but not in the way I once thought. I saw it all as a negative. I stopped dreaming of what could be. I was once told, “we make the best decisions we can with what we know at that time.” I understand this more than ever. I let the negativity of these situations control me. Not anymore.

Do I still struggle at times. Of course I do. With chronic pain comes depression. Unfortunately, they go hand in hand. Another thing to fight. But I do fight through.

I share my painful experiences now. There was a time, I struggled talking about it. It was too much for me. It was almost like reliving everything all over again.

But I’ve learned a lot about myself over the years. I fight. It’s who I am. I’m proud of who I am today. I’m proud of the fight I have in me. I’m proud that I have chosen to look upon all of these things as building blocks for my strength rather than things that defeated me. I haven’t been defeated. I’ve been changed.

Maybe that is my purpose. To share these experiences and help others change their way of thinking. To help others find their way out of that dark place.

Many blessings!

Weekly Song Challenge 2/23/19

I created this challenge a little over a week ago and here is round 2!! Everyone knows by now my loooove of music. So, I thought a post centered around music.

Rules:

Copy rules and add to your own post, pinging back to this post.

Post music videos for your answers to the musical questions.

Tag two people to participate!

Easy!

1. Post a video of a song that you discovered from a movie.

2. Post a video of a song that you love from the ’60s.

3. Post a video for a song by any band whose name begins with an M.

I challenge anyone that wants to participate!!!

 

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Lugubrious-Sometimes it is okay to not be Okay

As the anniversary of my Mom’s passing nears, it has been weighing on me. I hate to show that side. I’ve always equaled it to weakness. I don’t anymore. It’s human. We cannot be jovial all of the time. Thinking that I always have to present myself as being okay is bullshit. It’s okay to not be okay. Feel what I feel, get it out and then pick my ass up and get on with it.

Versatile Blogger Award

Versatile Blogger Award!

This is my first Versatile Blogger Award. I am very honored and want to thank Kristian for the nomination. You should check out his blog!!

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/22/versatile-blogger-award/

The rules of the Versatile Blogger Award are as follows:
If you are nominated, Congratulations you have been awarded the Versatile blogger award!
Thank the person who gave you the award and include a link to their blog.
Select 10 -15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
Nominate those bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.
Tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Seven random things about me:

I am going through depression right now. The anniversary of my Mother’s death is approaching and it is really hitting me.

I am an animal lover. If I was rich, I would have acres of land and would set up my own no kill shelter.

I love scary movies but I also love slapstick comedies and those ’80s movies!

Fall is my favorite season. It never lasts long enough.

My Hollywood crush is Jason Momoa. Oh yes! Hubba hubba baby!

I am allergic to two of three existing dust mites. Also allergic to smut. (wheat stem rust or mold that grows in fields) When allergist first told me smut, I laughed and said I don’t have any smut in my house.

I cannot pick just one favorite song. It just is not possible for me.

My Nominees:

https://crushedcaramel.wordpress.com/

https://kaitkingthewriter.blog/

https://dryhour.wordpress.com/

https://modacil.com/

https://gigisrantsandraves.wordpress.com/

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/134476559

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/154522383

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/135830530

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/122393112

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/126640027

Sweet Sixteen

Gosh! Where has the time gone? My nephew just turned sixteen. It doesn’t seem that long ago he was climbing around on me like a jungle gym. If he did that today, I’d end up in the ER. He’s every bit of 6’2″. 😂

My family is gathering tomorrow night to celebrate this milestone birthday. So, today I’m heading out to find him a gift. What do you get a teenage boy? I admit I am the aunt that usually gives cash and a card.

  1. You can get whatever you want with cash! Who doesn’t love that?
  2. It’s easy!
  3. I suck beyond the telling of it at wrapping.

Today I will shop. I hate shopping. I know! How many women say that? I like to get in, get what I need and skedaddle!

I wish my cousin was with me. She’s the coupon queen. I usually end up getting things for next to nothing when we shop together. All hail the Queen!

Wish me luck!

Why?

Why? A child’s favorite question. It does not matter how detailed your answer may be. You will likely be hit with another why. Children are in the process of discovery. So, it makes sense that why, is the most frequently asked question.

As adults I think this holds true as well. The difference is we seek our answer/s from God. Why do bad things happen? Why did this happen?

As parents we are able to somewhat satisfy our kid/s question of why. As adults, the answers seem to be unattainable. We have to hold onto our faith. We may not get the answers we want while on this plane of existence. Everything happens for a reason. This does not make anything hurt any less and it is little comfort with loss of any kind.

We are human. We have to go through the motions. Plus it is our nature to seek out answers. One day everything will be revealed. All questions will be answered. But until we make our journey to the other side, we will suffer losses and we will continue to ask why.

Song of the Day-Roy Orbison, K D Lange and Rebekah Del Rio; Crying

I adore Roy Orbison. My favorite song of his is Crying. Then I heard K D Lange’s version and fell in love with the song all over again.

Some years later I heard Rebekah Del Rio’s version. To this day, her version is my favorite.

I know this song is sad. I apologize for my darker posts tonight. I have my Mom on my mind. I’m really missing her. Trying to purge this ache as best as I can.

I remember us sitting together and listening to all of these one day. We just hung out and talked and shared music. It was a good day. This is for you Mom. ❤️