Minute Man

Archives 2017

Background: This is a post I shared on my FB page. When I left my marriage, I moved from a 2,000 sq. ft. house into a one bedroom box, I mean apartment. It served its purpose at the time. I had several upstairs neighbors while there. All were very loud. If they were home and I wanted to nap….forget about it!

Well that was a great nap! Best nap ever! (Sarcasm) I want to give a big shout out to my upstairs neighbor. Thanks for coming home and slamming every door and stomping throughout like a Sasquatch! Thanks! That stomping was just a bonus!!

I’d rather you have your girlfriend over and have to listen to your bedsprings squeaking. At least I know that would be over with in under a minute.

35 thoughts on “Minute Man”

  1. Mr. Fortress and I just bought a house after 13 years in a condo (second floor). We had eleven happy years and rarely heard the upstairs neighbors, whom I shall refer to as Russia 1.0. The only time I heard them was when the twenty-something aged siblings came to physical blows.

    Then Russians 2.0 moved in with a baby. From that point on, it was relentless cycle of noise. I have nothing against kids but when the child began walking it was all over. Holy hell. Then there were the “middle of the night” noises that we couldn’t pin down but we had speculated wildly about–they weren’t obviously sexual, though. It was more like they were building furniture. We’d also hear “stomp-drag-drag-drag-thump” all night until at least 3am. I can’t imagine what kind of activity was going on up there but they must have logged 700 miles a night with all the stomping around they did.

    Wow, I didn’t even get into Drunky Drunkersons, who lived downstairs!

      1. I know, hence our wild speculations. They invited us up for adult beverages one Saturday at 10:30 at night. We were up watching a horror movie. I was dying to get a peek at their place so we headed upstairs. It was overall pretty disappointing because nothing looked overtly sketchy. It did confirm that they had no rugs. They were very drunk already and badmouthed everyone in our building, calling them weirdos and assholes. We left after an hour after getting sloppy cheek kisses from them.

      2. Hahaha! Hello….good-bye! Gotta go home now and boil my face! 😂😂😂
        People that talk about others to you will talk about you too. Not a fan.

      1. Exactly, great way of putting It! Now, if you were to do something insensitive, then they would have all kinds of notices on your door. It’s so annoying!

      2. Yes! I had the groundskeepers break my storm door, sink pipe flood my bathroom, neighbor’s that were dirty and the smell lingered into my closet which was closest to them. I won’t do apartment living again.

      3. We had the HVAC unit upstairs leak so it drained into our front hall, and caused mold to grow in our walk in closet(our closet is right behind our HVAC unit). It was a hassle to get “maintenance” to actually figure it out. So, ready for solitary living.

      4. Yeah and my oldest( at the time, he’s since grown out of it) had asthma. But we were trying to figure out who designs these apartments? The location of things

    1. I can’t imagine having children in that environment. Our neighbor handled it well… let the rug rats run wild and if any trouble comes of them, threaten the people. He had the nerve to approach me once and told me I had permission to whoop his kids if they disrespected me. HA!! I’m not falling that BS! I know exactly what you’re doing! You gather your minions and go be a father.

      1. I agree there!! I had something scary happen at my complex that forced me to move up my moving date. Late night visitor with bandana over his face. Ends up mentally disturbed man that got out with parents knowing. Which told me he lived close by. I called mover and he cane early to get me out.

      2. Yup!!! I had my gun ready night that guy came by. He wouldn’t leave. Stood there. It took police a long time to get there. He was just standing on my porch after ringing doorbell once waiting. It’s funny cause the groundskeepers breaking my storm door resulted in me getting a new one. One that actually locked. I always think about that. Did this keep this guy from getting in? I dunno.

      3. Me too! I couldn’t see his face as he kept his head down and hood of jacket up. But when cops turned him around, saw bandana over his face. Now it was cold so one could argue it was for warmth. I even thought maybe. Until the next day I took my dog out and on my bench on my porch he left behind his Winter face mask.

      4. Yes. It shook me up. All I could think about was what we’re his intentions. I didn’t sleep after that: I couldn’t. Finally I just called my mover and told him and he was like, I will be there. Came a week early and got me into my house.

      5. My complex had tennis courts. They were used more for kids than tennis. Lol! From sidewalk chalk to riding bikes. Nobody seemed to care. It kept the kids safe and the parents could sit on picnic tables and watch their kids and have some adult time.

      6. So the tennis courts were the kid corrall, lol! The complex we were at had the tennis court outside our window. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the youngins… some had pretty big imaginations…

  2. I feel you so badly on apartment living. My wife and I couldn’t get out of ours fast enough.

    Sticky notes on the door to turn the bass down on our television. That volume never got above 5.

    The pet poop nazi. Dude on a golf cart who hid behind trees and watched if you’d pick up behind your pets.

    The utility guy (which was the poop nazi) who talked about women like the lowest form of life on earth. And thought he was a genius bronzed god. All 300 pounds of ego of him.

    The drain pipe on the washing machine that water would sit in and smelled like fish. (Ignored by utility guy/poop nazi)

    The next door guy who’s kids were literally everywhere. He cracked the door like he was really looking after them. As they were at the top floor hanging through the beams of the fencing….

    Oh the joy…

      1. They wondered why we left like we were leaving a 3rd world country…