Why do I get anxiety at the thought of going out by myself? I’m confident. I’m strong. I’m independent. But for some reason going and sitting down alone at a restaurant gives me anxiety. But I’m going.
I had a lot of anxiety last year traveling for the first time in my life alone. But I did it. I was a nervous wreck on the flight but I survived it.
But where does this anxiety come from? Why do I get anxious about doing things alone? Maybe I have monophobia. I don’t fear living alone. But anxiety about going out alone is a form of monophobia. I just always believed that most phobias stem from an event.
I have to be honest here. When I go out alone, my worst anxiety stems from people trying to talk to me. Does that seem strange? I seem pretty outgoing to most people. I can be. When the situation calls for it. So, I guess I’m monophobic with social anxiety due to trust issues. Whew! I’m a mess! So I fear going out alone because I prefer to be alone. Oh my! Calling Doctor Freud! What a conundrum!
Well, at least this post helped me figure out the why! I guess I’ve taken the first steps towards confronting it already. I’m forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Baby steps.