Yup not a one of us is perfect. We haven’t made it to this age without some baggage. We have strengths. We have weaknesses. I’ve come to realize that healing is very personal. It’s not something another can do for you. Yes, we can love someone through their grief and while they heal. But another person cannot heal you. It’s intimate. Only person that really knows what is creating pain for someone, is that individual. Most people ignore the things that cause their pain. Some mask the pain with drugs or alcohol. I’ve watched this first hand. The thing about individuals that have wounds that bleed, they will bleed out on those closest to them. Hurt people, hurt people.
When individuals do not heal from things that hurt them deeply, they can end up consumed by darkness. This doesn’t make them bad people. But it makes them toxic. They never healed that pain. They allowed bitterness to consume them until they became a different person. The heart is still intact but it’s burdened.
It is not unusual for a person that has been hurt terribly to end up hurting others. It isn’t their intent. It just is.
Then we have individuals that want to heal. There’s something in them that is unhealed that attracts them to “wounded” individuals. It’s an actual term-broken bird syndrome.
We have a lot going on in the world right now. Then there’s everyday life. Heartaches, loss, divorce. You name it. People are just trying to get through the day a lot of the time. So most don’t take the time needed to address the pain that is there. But there will be a day for most people when life smacks you awake and you are forced to deal with your demons. Healing is having an epiphany. When you recognize the role you’ve played in your own pain, you’ve leveled up. You take accountability for yourself. You stop trying to heal others and recognize that you must heal yourself. It’s a very important moment. It’s the moment you say, I choose me. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Clifford tries to get me to pick him up to get him in the bed. The problem-he’s not a little guy any more. He thinks he is but as you can see, he’s a big boy. A big, beautiful, loving boy. He’s outgrown his asshole puppy ways….mostly. He still has his moments but doggie daycare or long walks usually help with this.
I’ve been thinking a lot about doors lately. Symbolism, a writer’s best friend, huh? I have recently redecorated my bedroom. I now have two pictures and both are of doors.
As we travel our path we will come upon many doors. Some we will walk past while others we will walk through. We walk through not knowing what is on the other side. It’s crazy to think of how many doors we walk through in our lifetime. Each one presenting us with new hope, new possibilities and even with growth.
The old saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Standing still is safe. But is it good for the soul? The only way to move forward is by walking through that door and seeing just what awaits you. Be fierce. Be brave. Renew!
Going back to who we once were sounds good in theory. Is there such a thing? Would we recognize ourselves if we did? There’s no backwards. If we attain a previous status or state of being, it is still an altered version. Experience gives us that.
I can’t help but think that these kids were blessed by her abandonment. I mean she was obviously a self serving individual lacking the natural nurture instinct a mother has. Or most have. Had she stayed what would their lives had been like? They more than likely would not have gotten the love from her that their grandparents gave them. Maybe they survived in their care where if left in hers would have ended up another tragic tale on the news. The anger is understandable. A mom is supposed to instinctively protect and nurture their kids. This woman wasn’t capable of that and her abandonment naturally scarred them as it would any kid. But again, that abandonment may have been the best thing she could have ever done. Not that she did so for their sake. She was obviously selfish. I do pray they find healing.
Part of life is growth. We are forever learning. If open to do so. But sometimes that growth is a surprise. Things we never expected from ourselves. Whether it’s due to adversity, a new experience or even trauma. Growth is still growth. And isn’t it beautiful when that growth teaches you that you have so much more inside of you than you ever thought possible?!
Be that flower blooming through the cracks of a sidewalk. You weren’t planted and nurtured like ones in a forever growing garden. The wind blew you to an unexpected destination. And you grew when at one time, you didn’t think you could.
For those who try to be the bigger person. For those with the courage to speak truth while others ignore it and attacked for it. For those who are just big hearted and try to be there for everyone, even the undeserving. For those who finally realized that you can’t help some individuals as they want nothing more than to dim lights because theirs went out a long time ago. For those who finally realized that your peace is yours to protect by any means.
Never forget! What makes America great are it’s people. People did not hesitate to rush in to help others. On this day we saw the worst of some in regards to the destruction they brought down on us. But we also saw the best of many. Their best saved lives. Or at least showed those near the end that they weren’t alone. Someone came for them. Many of these heroes fell. Some lost their lives that day. Some suffered disease for years from the toxicity at ground zero. They gave their lives for others. Yes we saw the best of many. God bless the USA. ❤️🤍💙🇺🇸