This is dedicated to a very dear friend.
Have you ever beat yourself up over a person that you allowed into your life? Maybe you found out that they are not the person that they pretended to be. It reminds me of something my mother always said. “If you judge people by your heart, you will get hurt.”
You should never beat yourself up for having a loving heart. For wanting to see the good in people. However, I believe there are times where we let our hearts lead the way and ignore what our heads are trying to tell us. This doesn’t make you stupid. Foolish maybe but not stupid. You are human. We want to believe in people. We want to believe that people are like us.
As we get older, these lessons will teach you to pay attention to the red flags. To pay closer attention to the actions of someone and less to their words. You just need to be very honest with what you are seeing in someone. Take those rose-colored glasses off!
You reach a point that people have to prove they are worthy of your time. Period. Your time is precious and so is your heart. I think once you have suffered enough losses you become cautious as to who you allow into your little world. That’s okay! You should be cautious. Experience is a hell of a teacher!
We live, we learn.
I recently had a conversation with someone that in the past had caused me much pain. The details are not relevant to the point of this particular blog.
This was the first time I have been able to speak with this individual without feeling extreme anxiety. We were actually able to have a great conversation. He sincerely apologized for the things he put me through growing up.
This is what I said to him:
“Everyone does things in their life that they are ashamed of. Some might be worse than others. I forgive you but you have to forgive yourself. If you want to do better and be better then you have to forgive yourself. To do that means you have to love yourself enough to look deep inside and to be really honest with yourself. If you don’t do this, you will fall right back into your old patterns. If you want to be better, you have to do this.”
This was not a conversation I ever thought in my entire life that I would have with this individual. I was never able to speak to him without it causing me great pain. So I avoided doing so altogether.
I realized that I never want to be the reason someone suffers. Especially when they are genuinely trying to get their life together. I don’t want to be the type of person that hurts others just because they hurt me. I also realized that the pain I’ve held for all of these years was poisoning me. If I want to be better, to do better then I have to follow my own advice.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Some of you have read previous blogs where I have shared about my chronic pain issues. If not allow me to summarize-OUCH!
I have two spinal fusions, I have arthritis and I have fibromyalgia. There are many things that I use to help with my pain. Cold packs, rice packs, Epsom Salt baths and my best friend Peppermint oil.
I do want to warn anyone with skin sensitivities to be careful before using. Peppermint oil gets very warm when applied to the skin. Very warm. Also never (and I cannot stress this enough) apply to sensitive areas such as the armpits. NEVER! You will want to die. Trust me.
You may want to dilute it using a carrier oil such as jojoba. If you still find that it is not possible for you to use Peppermint oil due to skin sensitivities, try Wintergreen oil. It helps with pain as well without the warming affect.
So why is it so effective? Because Peppermint oil has anti-spasmodic and anti-inflammatory properties. The warming sensation helps your body to relax also.
It’s no wonder it has gained popularity with athletic departments to help athletes with sore muscles after workouts. It also has shown to improve athletes’ performances when used orally on a regular basis.
There are many benefits of using Peppermint oil. From upset stomach, to congestion to headaches. I encourage you to research how to use it for these specific ailments before doing so.
I have convinced many people to try Peppermint oil. Some were non-believers until they saw relief from pain within minutes.
I use it so much, my house smells like Christmas year round!
So if you have any of the ailments listed above, I encourage you to give it a try. What do you have to lose?
I cannot imagine life without dogs. They make life so much better. They love unconditionally. All they want is to be with their family.
When you walk through that door you are greeted with such love. It does not matter if you were only gone for five minutes or eight hours, the reaction is the same. They are truly amazing creatures.
I have always returned that love to my dogs over the years. I have always spoiled them. Spoiled with play, love and treats. Cuddling with those furry babies is the best. My dogs have always received the red carpet treatment.
Yes I spoil my fuzzy babies. So much so my ex always joked he hoped to come back as one of my dogs if he passed before me.
He never mentioned anything about neutering.
The above does not accurately depict my definition of beauty. What someone is blessed with on the outside is not in and of itself beautiful. You can be blessed with good genes but that doesn’t mean you were blessed with a beautiful heart or a beautiful soul. If all you have going for you, are good looks, then you don’t have true beauty. There is a light that shines through when you are beautiful on the inside. That light shines and illuminates one’s soul for all to see.
Every person is flawed in one way or another. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has things that they are self-conscious about. We live in a time that if you don’t like something about yourself and you can afford to, you can have it surgically altered. I most certainly am not downing anyone that has had plastic surgery. Not at all. But what I find sad are the particular cases where one surgery becomes, two. Two becomes three. So on and so on until an individual is completely unrecognizable.
We see the models on the covers of all these magazines looking flawless. Size 2, no fat, no cellulite, no pores, teeth perfectly straight and on and on. Our young girls comparing themselves to an image that isn’t even real.
We must teach our girls to love themselves, to strengthen their hearts with their actions, to use the goodness in their souls and to never compare themselves to anyone. To appreciate themselves as they are and see that light inside.
For that’s where true beauty lies.